God's Littlest Patriot: Suspended for preaching the word of Christ! Second grade student took the Lord's name in vain -- girl told him he is going to go to Hell -- and girl suspended. Girl suspended one day for fulfilling her duty as a Christian Soldier.


Now, I know this may be confusing. That last sentence, I wrote "girl suspended one day for fulfilling her duty as a Christian soldier." That does not mean "one day" (in the future) this will happen. I mean it already happened!


This is truly a Brave New World type of moment. Up is Down. Evil is Good. Saving heathen children from an eternity of damnation is a suspendable offense in second grade! Imagine what they would do to yours truly, who has saved countless heathen children over the years through my Christian Youth Ministry. I'm much older, so therefore the punishment must be more severe. The Architects of the NWO have been brainwashing our children ever since God was taken out of the classroom.


Imagine this took place just after teacher lecture about homosexual sodomy. "Billy Has Two Daddies." "Billy's Two Daddies Play Touch Football." "Billy and His Two Daddies in Key West." These books are disgusting! I don't even know why the hell Kevin had them in his room, but I found these books in there and they are really sick.


I asked Kevin what he's doing with those books, and he denied owning them. He accused me of putting them there. Can you believe that??? What would I be doing with books like that?


Well, I called together a Family Meeting right after lunch. For lunch we had frozen Chicken Kiev from Aldi, by the way. At $.99, it is an excellent bargain, and a tasty meal. Cecilia doesn't like Chicken Kiev, though. She says she's a vegetarian now! I don't know where she gets these crazy ideas, considering she's never set foot in a public school, or any school for that matter, outside of Bible Class.


I called Park Choy at work and told her she needs to get herself home ASAP. This is a family emergency. It's more important than advertising. This situation needs to be resolved before I leave for Florida, or I'm cancelling the trip. Book promotion be damned, and the same goes for everything else that will have to be put on hold until I figure this out.


Cecilia was silent this whole time, of course, and she normally is because she is a very good girl. Imagine my surprise when she confessed to me that she is the one who brought those books into my house. She said she'd hidden them in Kevin's room because she didn't think anyone would ever find them underneath all the beer cans. She said that her "friend" from Bible Class loaned them to her! I don't know what kind of friends you have, but my friends don't damn me to Hell. This is intolerable. This "friend" of hers must have been the one who told her all about vegetarianism, now sodomy, and who knows next maybe Communism. There is clearly a Satanic influence at that Bible Class, and it needs to be rectified.